Just for laughs
Christmas jokes for kids
134 clean, groan-worthy riddles sorted by theme — perfect for the dinner table, Christmas crackers, lunchbox notes and class parties.
Random joke
What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
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Santa jokes
What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
Santa Pause.
Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him.
What is Santa's favorite kind of music?
Wrap music.
How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he visits?
He keeps a log.
What do Santa's helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet.
Why is Santa so good at karate?
He has a black belt.
What does Santa use to check his list twice?
His naughty-cal glasses.
Where does Santa go swimming?
In the North Pool.
What do you call a broke Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
Why does Santa always know what time it is?
He checks his Claus-ck.
Which state does Santa visit first on his map?
Ho-ho-hio.
What did Mrs. Claus say when she looked at the sky?
Looks like rain, dear.
Why did Santa's sleigh get a ticket?
It was parked in a snow-parking zone.
What is Santa's favorite snack food?
Crisp Kringles.
Elf jokes
What do elves do after school?
Their gnome-work.
Why was the elf crying?
He lost his elf-esteem.
What kind of photos do elves take?
Elfies.
How do elves greet each other?
Small talk.
What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper.
Why did the elf put his bed in the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log.
What is an elf's favorite sport?
Miniature golf.
Where do elves keep their savings?
In a snow bank.
What does an elf use to get around town?
An elf-evator.
Why are elves such good listeners?
Because they are all ears.
What do elves post on social media?
Elf-help tips.
Why did the elf get sent to the corner?
He was being a little shelf-ish.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Elf-ish pancakes, stacked very short.
Reindeer jokes
What do reindeer hang on their trees?
Horn-aments.
How do you know when a reindeer is in your fridge?
Hoof prints in the butter.
What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because it was tied to the chicken.
What is a reindeer's favorite game at recess?
Stable tennis.
Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach?
He didn't want to be recognized.
What do reindeer say before telling a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
How does a reindeer learn the alphabet?
From A to Z, one hoof at a time.
What is a reindeer's favorite candy?
Hay-zelnut chocolate.
What do you call a reindeer who tells bad jokes?
A cornball.
Why do reindeer make good musicians?
They always know the right sleigh bells.
What do you call a reindeer with three eyes?
Reiiindeer.
Why did the reindeer go to the doctor?
He had a sore antler-throat.
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Snowman jokes
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A big bowl of snowflakes.
What does a snowman take when he gets sick?
A chill pill.
Where do snowmen keep their money?
In snow banks.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
How do snowmen get around?
By riding an icicle.
What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
What do snowmen call their kids?
Chill-dren.
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose.
What is a snowman's favorite drink?
Iced tea.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
What kind of music do snowmen dance to?
Snow-ul music.
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because Frost bites.
How does a snowman lose weight?
He waits for the weather to get warmer.
What is a snowman's favorite game?
Freeze tag.
Christmas tree jokes
Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting?
They always drop their needles.
What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
Quit hanging around.
How do Christmas trees get ready for a party?
They spruce themselves up.
What do you call a Christmas tree that knows karate?
Spruce Lee.
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed a trim.
What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
It was hooked on trees its whole life.
What did the tree lights say to each other?
Let's go out tonight.
Why was the Christmas tree so good at sewing?
It had lots of needles.
What do you call a tree that fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
What did the star say on top of the tree?
I'm feeling a bit pine-acle today.
Why did the pine tree get in trouble?
It was being knotty.
How do trees get on the internet?
They log in.
Gift jokes
What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle smells.
What did the wrapping paper say to the present?
I've got you covered.
What did the gift say to the bow?
You're tied up for the holidays.
Why did the boy keep his present in the freezer?
He wanted a cool gift.
What is the best present you can give?
A broken drum. You can't beat it.
Why was the stocking so sad?
It had a hole lot of problems.
What did the sock say to the stocking?
You're so stretched this time of year.
What do you call a gift that keeps moving?
A present in tense.
Why did the girl wrap her present in a calendar?
So it would be a present for the whole year.
How do presents travel?
By ribbon-road.
What did one gift tag say to the other?
Stick with me and you'll go places.
Why was the toy robot so polite?
It had good manners installed.
What do you call a present that is late?
A past.
Carol jokes
What carol do parents sing at bedtime?
Silent Night, please.
What is a cat's favorite carol?
Deck the Halls with Balls of Yarn.
What carol is heard in the desert?
O Camel Ye Faithful.
What do sheep say to each other at Christmas?
Merry Christmas to ewe.
Why did the choir sing in the freezer?
They wanted to hit the cool notes.
What is a dog's favorite carol?
Bark the Herald Angels Sing.
Which carol do fish love most?
Coral of the Bells.
What carol does a math teacher sing?
The Twelve Days of Counting.
What do you sing at a snowman's birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What is a mosquito's favorite carol?
Hum the Herald Angels Sing.
Why did the carolers bring a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
What carol do ducks sing in December?
Deck the halls, fowl-la-la-la-la.
What do bells say when they meet?
Nice to ring you.
Winter jokes
What do you call a snowflake that can't stop dancing?
A snow-ball.
What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost.
How do you keep a polar bear warm?
With a bear hug.
What does a polar bear wear on its head?
An ice cap.
What kind of ball doesn't bounce?
A snowball.
Why did the snowflake win an award?
It was one of a kind.
What do mittens and a good friend have in common?
They both keep you warm.
What do you call an old snowball?
Water.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
What did the icicle say to the roof?
I'll just hang out here.
Why did the boy bring a ladder outside in winter?
He heard the snow was getting deep.
What do you call a snowflake that tells jokes?
A flurry of laughs.
What is a skier's favorite exercise?
Slope-ups.
Grumpy holiday jokes
Why did the grump unplug the lights?
He wanted a merry Christmas without the merry.
What do you call someone who hates Christmas trees?
A pine-hater.
Why did the scrooge sit on his presents?
He wanted to keep things under wraps.
What did the grumpy neighbor say about carolers?
Fa-la-la-la-leave me alone.
What is a grump's favorite part of Christmas?
The day after, when it's over.
Why don't grumps go sledding?
They hate going downhill with a smile.
What did the grump give his cat for Christmas?
A cold shoulder.
Why did the grouch skip the gingerbread house contest?
He said it was too crumby.
What did the grump write in his holiday card?
Bah, humbug, and best wishes.
Why did the grouch refuse eggnog?
He said it was not his cup of nog.
What did the grump say to the jingle bells?
Can you please go ring somewhere else?
Why was the grump's heart so small?
It was two sizes too stingy.
What did the grump hang on his door?
A wreath that says "Go Away."
Why did the grouch hide under the mistletoe?
He knew no one would look for him there.
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